Today's story is from the May issue of Love Romances, a Marvel title that was published in May 1963. This is the first Marvel story I've scanned, and while Marvel can't compete with DC's quality, the art is decent and the stories are quite nice, with a naturalistic touch that you don't often find.
Some of you will be interested to know that all of the stories in this particular issue were written by Stan Lee, but don't get your hopes up about any crossovers: our heroine doesn't find herself on a blind date with Bruce Banner or copying her lecture notes for Peter Parker. Instead, she finds herself married to a creep on the first page of the story, which is definitely the wrong way to get a romance started.
I really like this cover, because the heroine looks completely spazzed out underneath that Jiffy Pop hairdo she's rocking.
What a minx, getting married at the beginning of the story. We all know this isn't going to work out, right?
I love Paul's rage, here he's just so pissed about those tickets. He'd probably have pistol whipped her if she overcooked his eggs or brought him the wrong slippers. The mother's comment that Bette was lucky to realize her mistake "in time", means while she was still a virgin. Girls who are damaged goods don't get to star in their own romance story, Bette!
Jesus, ask a girl out on a date, Stu. Don't make her stay late typing up reports while you admire her hair dome. Is it just me, or is Bette's hair growing larger? It appears to be collapsing under its own weight.
I've changed my mind, Bette is so guilty about the annulment that she must've stopped for a quickie with Paul before he figured out about those tickets. Also I can't believe Bette went out in the rain without an umbrella protecting her hair. Maybe she's fumbling in her pocket for a beehive-shaped rain bonnet.
Come to the park and mug me, Stu! Be my skulking footpad! In the fourth and fifth panels the Marvel artists were a little overwrought, you can tell they weren't used to drawing for girls. Stu looks like he's about to start like shaking Bette until spare change falls out of her pockets.
Oh shit, you were married for like 50 seconds, Bette. Stop being such a drama queen and kiss your boss! I think anything short of your boss whipping out his dick and insisting that you use it as a pen blotter wouldn't be considered sexual harassment in the 60's, and probably not even then.
New story on Monday, and make sure to vote in the new poll.
Friday, May 9, 2008
"I Dare Not Tell Him!" 1963
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
For Love Alone (1969)
Well, I like boys who don't wear their Christmas ties in the summer.
Today's story is from the June-July 1969 issue DC's Heart Throbs. DC's romance comics were the best of the best in the post-code era, and I think you'll notice the change from Charlton's low budget wackiness right away. At DC, the plots make sense, the artwork is highly skilled, and the comic is actually competently printed: the wildly miscalibrated screens and mystery blotches that plague Charlton comics are absent here.
Contrast this simple little story of an ordinary girl with a commonplace problem to the bizarre things that befall Cleo Manson in my last post. Here instead of being pursued by banditos, our heroine Roseanne is just too shy to find herself a boyfriend, and her married sister and brother-in-law try to help her by setting her up on a date.
Judging by the squeaky clean dorkiness of the husband that Beth hooked for herself, I think Roseanne is justified in her fear of being set up by her and I suspect that her "shyness" is at least partially invented. God knows what kind of nerd is going to walk through that door.
I don't know the reason for it, but the guys in romance comics always look 15 years older than the girls, even when the characters are supposed to be the same age. I don't know if David is supposed to be older than Roseanne, or if he's just prematurely aged like all men in the 60's. Was it all the smoking and drinking and playing poker with oversized nudie cards? Maybe they sold frowning kits in the back of mens' magazines because it was impossible to get ahead with a smooth, unlined face.
Wait, why was Roseanne going to the square dance in the first place if she didn't like to dance? Oh, I bet she was a blast to bring to dances, making everyone awkward as she skulked around the edges of the crowd. At least she's coming out of her shell now, as evidenced by that pink panel - monochromatic panels always signify hormones. Lots of hormones.
See? That green panel is sizzling.
This is the second time David's shown up with a kind of gold bar on his jacket pocket, is he wearing a name tag? Maybe it's the pin he wears as a member of the DIRTY GIGOLO SOCIETY.
David's getting more lined with each page, but Roseanne doesn't care, she greens his panel and how.
The panel where Roseanne runs away weeping with her eyes closed is a DC story staple, along with the sexy monochromatic panels, sadder-but-wiser endings and dream sequences.
Now that I have the blog settled I'm going to be posting on a Mon - Wed - Fri schedule, and we'll see how that goes. So, look for a new post and a new poll on Friday.
Monday, May 5, 2008
Kiss or Be Killed (1969)
Charlton needed 10 pages to tell today's story, the ambitious Kiss or Be Killed. Set in the exotic land of May-hee-co, it seethes with the threat of violence and is populated with obnoxious Americans, leering banditos and perhaps worst of all ... geologists.
Kiss or Be Killed is really trying to have a message. It takes pains to let the reader know that racism is bad, and daringly shows an American girl kissing a Mexican. Perhaps even more tellingly, the bigot that finds this innocent kiss offensive earns himself a beating and the heroine's disdain. The main problem is that the writer and artist apparently learned everything they needed to know about Mexico from watching Speedy Gonzales cartoons, and the unfortunate use of the surname MANSON doesn't help, either. 
You know, I don't think I'd like to take a trip with Manson Bus Tours, no matter how nice the Yucatan might be. For one they don't seem to bother training their staff - does Cleo really think it's wise to open up the tour by admitting she's never been to Mexico before? She's just begging for a busload of mutiny.
The message is clear: you can kiss a Mexican as long as there's no tongue. Plus it's wrong to be racist. However, if you happen to insult a Mexican, you better get the hell out of town. Because they will cut you.
Can anything else go wrong on this tour? A guide who has never been to Mexico before, having to flee town before one of the paying customers is murdered, and now this creepy shack-dweller is telling them they narrowly avoided driving over a collapsed bridge. It's making the salmonella incident in Paraguay pale in comparison.
Okay, it just got worse, they're stopping until morning, and the creepy drifter is now apparently leading the whole shebang. Does anyone have overnight garments? Is there a toilet on the bus? Why is Cleo leaving the bus to go walking with the creepy dude that just hijacked her bus? How is it that she's still alive?
I have to disagree with the sentiments in Panel 2, because if any of this happened to me I'm pretty sure I wouldn't love telling about it later. Except maybe when I spoke to my lawyer roughly 30 seconds after I got home, to discuss litigation against Manson Bus Tours.
As obnoxious as Mr Lutz is, at least he has the sense to be skeptical about the bearded stranger who comandeered the bus and made them stop in an area inhabited by coyotes. I'm not sure what's up with the Fatso remark, or what's going on in the last panel - did Freer just punch Lutz in the... armpit? Whatever happened, it looks like it hurt. Smaaaaaaakk is pretty serious.
Okay so creepy drifter has led them into an ambush. Hands up, who saw this coming?
So let's try to get this straight. It was necessary to stop the bus so that the banditos could see Lutz get his ass beaten and for creepy drifter to kiss Cleo so she doesn't get assaulted. Couldn't all of this be avoided by, I don't know, fuckin' flooring it out of Mexico? It's not like they were in a vehicle, dude.
...and why is Cleo fantasizing about his tickly kisses and drifter breath?
"No Cleo... I'm respectable." Also kind of a dumbass who endangered your life to kiss you and expose Manson Bus Tours to what will be an inevitable lawsuit by Mr Lutz, but whatever.
I like how Larry secures his date with Cleo by letting her know that she has no choice in the matter. You better attend that fiesta, girl, or you don't even want to know how the locals will exact their revenge.
This is the first story I've scanned from Charlton's Career Girl Romances, but since the stories are definitely a cut above Charlton's usual fare you'll be seeing more of them.
Monday, April 14, 2008
Break-Up
For your reading pleasure today we have Break-Up, with some of the best art I've ever seen in a Charlton comic. Break-Up first caught my attention because it has one of the most awkward, geeky heroes I've ever run across; he's like a cross between the first Ken doll and a Buddy Holly impersonator and even the heroine never forgets that he's a puny specimen.
On closer reading, though, it's the heroine that really stands out. While girls in romance comics generally do like it when their new boyfriend beats up their ex (and really, what girl doesn't?) here our heroine gets just a little too excited by all the violence.
Our heroine Ellen is fresh out of high school, but check out Steve's lined forehead. The guys in romance comics tend to look much older than the girls, but I think Steve was one of her teachers. Probably a sleazy phys. ed. teacher.
Oh, sure. When your boyfriend dumps you at the county line, you just walk home in the dark. All by yourself. THEN you get in the car with some creepy guy in glasses that you might vaguely remember from high school. ELLEN. GO TO YOUR ROOM RIGHT NOW YOUNG LADY.
In the second panel, Gary's basically admitting that he's only ever danced with other dudes in public. Thankfully, Ellen's too intent on having a good time to notice, as she goes from angry makeouts with one date to fevered grinning and crazed dancing with another in the span of about three minutes. Wait, and what's Steve doing here? That dude gets around.
The last panel shows Ellen far too excited about the punches being thrown.
Oh, come on, dreaming of Gary? Even in Ellen's fantasy he looks uncomfortable and awkward, and at best he looks 45 years old. A creepy, wizened 45.
Oh shit, it's Steve! Steve and his CHEST HAIR. How can such a proud specimen keep getting schooled? He's like three times the size of the other dudes on the beach. I love when Ellen screams for Gary to show Steve no mercy.
Also, this comic proves that nerds have been embarassing their dates by referring to them as 'milady' for at least 40 years.
I don't want to be crude (okay, I do) but I think Steve's hurrying Ellen into the water to cover up what happens when he gets those "funny feelings" in his swim trunks.
So that's the entire story, it's kind of skimpy on plot (phys ed teacher loses girl, girl finds nerd, nerd pwns phys ed teacher on beach) but I think a third of its panels portray fighting, and what else do we really need?
