tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5506553437215756562023-11-15T05:07:56.148-08:00It's Romanceville, you dig?Stories from vintage romance comics and general 70's comics cheese.Lori Furyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15060712056309935017noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-550655343721575656.post-28637900230302910482008-06-02T13:00:00.000-07:002008-06-02T21:57:00.402-07:00Lip Service, 1958<IMG title="" height=416 src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2116/1950956043_357e5aef11_o.jpg"><br /><br />Todays story is Lip Service, from a 1958 issue of <em>True Love</em>. Lip Service is only a 5-pager, but it makes up for its brevity by the complete freakishness of its subject matter. I don't want to ruin the surprise, so I'll just say creepiest. story. ever.<br /><br /><span id="fullpost"><br /><IMG title="" height=1024 src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2304/1951787966_b046ea88f4_b.jpg"><br /><br />Nice. Very nice, not crazy at <EM>all.</EM><br /><br />I think the reason most people find ventriloquists and their dummies so creepy is that we imagine the ventriloquist goes home and has a conversation with his dummy a lot like what you see above. <br /><br /><IMG title="" height=1024 src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2169/1951789590_ef481140c6_b.jpg"><br /><br />Obviously, Harry has <EM>issues</EM> but Linda has ignored the subtle signs of his complete nutcakery. Watch in the next page how she very quickly dismisses his weird habit of talking about Charlie as if he were a real person with some quick rationalizing.<br /><br /><IMG title="" height=1024 src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2324/1951790630_18d6053204_b.jpg"><br /><br />The panel where they're smooching with Charlie leering in background makes me a little queasy. How is this not a horror story?<br /><br /><IMG title="" height=1024 src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2264/1950961297_f30bbde47c_b.jpg"><br /><br />Yiiiiiii. <br /><br />"Loretta? Girl, did you hear about Linda's date with that ventriloquist?"<br />"Didn't be bring his dummy to the beach?"<br />"In a suitcase, girl. He had it ask her for a handjob!"<br /><br /><IMG title="" height=1024 src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2185/1950962295_5497e3b536_b.jpg"><br /><br />What cinches it for me is that Harry ends the story by doing exactly what Linda's been begging him NOT to do the entire time. That, and Harry's hangdog expression in the very last panel, where its clear that he is Charlie's prisoner and unhappy slave. <br /><br />Shiver!<br /><br /></span>Lori Furyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15060712056309935017noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-550655343721575656.post-41575137626180217792008-05-30T07:46:00.000-07:002008-05-30T07:46:01.387-07:00Kiss and Tell 1970<IMG title="" height=427 src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/kissandtell/kiss_teaser.jpg"><br />We have a racy one today, folks. Scanned from DC's excellent Girls' Romances title, <STRONG>Kiss and Tell </STRONG>shows us just what my grandmother meant all those years ago about how fierce boys can be when a girl gets a <EM>reputation</EM>. Of course our heroine hasn't done anything to deserve all the whistles and leering invitations, but that makes them even funnier.<br /><span id="fullpost"><br /><IMG title="" height=1024 src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/kissandtell/kissandtell1.jpg"><br />It seems so impossibly innocent now to think that once you could be labeled as a bad girl for just smooching a guy. I think nowadays it would take cameo appearances in several Girls Gone Wild videos and an illicit sex tape made with three costumed Furries and a man wearing an oversized diaper.<br /><br /><IMG title="" height=1024 src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/kissandtell/kissandtell2.jpg"> <br />Rosemarie, what have you been up to? Have you been frenching that boy that looks like L'il Abner? GO TO YOUR ROOM RIGHT THIS INSTANT YOUNG LADY.<br /><br /><IMG title="" height=1024 src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/kissandtell/kissandtell3.jpg"><br />Oh, Ricky! Tell me more about your <EM>teachers</EM>. What was third period Biology like?<br /><br /><IMG title="" height=1024 src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/kissandtell/kissandtell4.jpg"><br />Maybe the other girls on the beach are jealous - or maybe they were all scared away by that orange suit.<br /><br /><IMG title="" height=1024 src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/kissandtell/kissandtell5.jpg"><br />Forget about Rosemarie's shocking lack of morals - why is there a mariachi hat store on the boardwalk?<br /><br /><IMG title="" height=1024 src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/kissandtell/kissandtell6.jpg"><br />Nice to rub it in, Rosemarie. I'm sure Doris is thrilled that she's on vacation with a girl who left her alone in the hotel room to read a book. Go on and eat the food in the mini-bar, Doris! When she's paying for $25 Toblerone Rosemarie will regret this evening's fun.<br /><br /><IMG title="" height=1024 src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/kissandtell/kissandtell7.jpg"><br />Guys in the 70's were so subtle. Take a look at the monster in the third panel! He looks like Paul Lynde with chest hair.<br /><br /><IMG title="" height=1024 src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/kissandtell/kissandtell7a.jpg"><br />Not so smug now, are we Rosemarie? I guess <EM>someone</EM> should've listened to her homely friend and stayed home to play canasta like a <EM>nice</EM> girl. <br /><br /><IMG title="" height=1024 src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/kissandtell/kissandtell8.jpg"><br />Why does Ricky keep wearing a sweatshirt to the beach?<br /><br /><IMG title="" height=1024 src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/kissandtell/kissandtell9.jpg"><br />I don't know how Ricky's going to talk his way out of this one, but more importantly, is Rosemarie NAKED under that robe? I can't see the straps of her bathing suit or her nightie. <br /><br /><IMG title="" height=1024 src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/kissandtell/kissandtell10.jpg"><br />I think Rosemarie's the first girl on the beach to buy that stupid excuse, I'm sure Ricky can't believe his luck that some chick finally bought his "feelings" crap. <br /><br /></span>Lori Furyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15060712056309935017noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-550655343721575656.post-87298277025535640332008-05-28T08:00:00.000-07:002008-05-28T08:00:02.185-07:00Second Hand Love! 1975<IMG title="" height=322 src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/2ndhandlove/secondhand_teaser.jpg"><br /><br />Today's story is Second Hand Love, a mid-70's masterpiece from the DC title Secret Hearts. The story trots out the shopworn premise of the secretary falling for her young, handsome boss, but it has two things going for it that raise it above its mundane plot: a Paris Hilton-style debutante and a heroine who is so completely lacking in self-esteem that she really needs to be institutionalized.<br /><br /><span id="fullpost"><br /><IMG title="" src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/2ndhandlove/secondhand1.jpg"><br />If a man has to choose between two girls, they can never have the same hair color. Will it be the sassy redhead or the cheerful blonde trying to strangle herself? Does it really matter when their skirts are that short?<br /><br /><IMG title="" src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/2ndhandlove/secondhand2.jpg"><br />Run along now, and remember I want that note to be classy, so only mention my dick like, once. Twice at the max. Oh and Carol, can you <EM>not</EM> wear those weird socks to work again? I've asked you before but you still keep coming to work in them. If I see those things again I'm going to dock your pay.<br /><br /><IMG title="" src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/2ndhandlove/secondhand3.jpg"><br />How can Kip be the greatest guy that ever lived? I could buy it if the writers had squeezed in a few panels of him rescuing a kitten from a tree or maybe just giving his spare change to the homeless, but as it stands he's just some creep who can't be bothered to compose his own love letters. He also apparently talks to his secretary's belt buckle.<br /><br /><IMG title="" src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/2ndhandlove/secondhand4.jpg"><br />Does Kip ever actually do any work? If I ran that company he would be <EM>so fired</EM>. <br /><br /><IMG title="" src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/2ndhandlove/secondhand5.jpg"><br />Mr Lawson, I--I-- I have to tell you t-that you're a total dumbass!<br /><br /><IMG title="" src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/2ndhandlove/secondhand6.jpg"><br />Office attire has really changed since the 70's. I'm not sure if even the most casual workplace today would let you come to work wearing a skirt that turns every dropped pen into an x-rated peepshow.<br /><br /><IMG title="" height=1020 src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/2ndhandlove/secondhand7.jpg"><br />Whoa, take it easy there, Carol. I'm pretty sure that those scissors are company property... wait, did she just say she's been in love with this guy for<STRONG> five years</STRONG>? I bet that her skirts started out ankle-length and then, in desperation, she began to shorten her hems in the hopes that eight hours a day of looking at her ankles, then legs, and then finally her beav would get the hint through Kip's thick skull.<br /><br />It's a good thing she just quit, if that trend kept up in a few months she'd coming to work wearing an oversized bandaid over her buttcrack.<br /><br /><IMG title="" src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/2ndhandlove/secondhand8.jpg"><br />So, Carol... tell me all about how much you like me. Is it because I'm so awesome? Have some more champagne and tell me how awesome you think I am, really. Don't be shy. It shouldn't bother you at all that I never noticed you were alive until now.<br /><br /><IMG title="" src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/2ndhandlove/secondhand9.jpg"><br />Obviously nobody has ever explained the concept of being on the rebound to Carol. It's not that Kip is making it obvious or anything by constantly thanking her for taking his mind off his broken engagement.<br /><br /><IMG title="" src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/2ndhandlove/secondhand10.jpg"><br />Check out the crazy eyes action in the last panel while Carol chants what appears to be some kind of spell. You know that just out of the panel she has a stalker shrine set up with clippings from Kip's electric razor and a Kleenex she pilfered from his trash can. Possibly with KIP LOVE ME scrawled on her walls in pigeon blood.<br /><br /><IMG title="" src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/2ndhandlove/secondhand11.jpg"><br />Looks like someone didn't chant hard enough, because here comes Paris Hilton and her big hair! When Carol snaps and bazookas everyone in the office, Kip will have no one to blame but himself.<br /><br /><IMG title="" height=1020 src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/2ndhandlove/secondhand12.jpg"><br />Take a letter, Miss Gates... I'm a big square-headed clod, and while I could've blown off my ex-girlfriend over the phone, it was way more fun to mess with your head. Let's have dinner tonight, you can tell me how awesome I am. I promise to remember your name this time. Signed, Kip.<br /></span>Lori Furyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15060712056309935017noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-550655343721575656.post-36880194787752364722008-05-19T08:29:00.000-07:002008-05-19T08:29:01.362-07:00Courage and Kisses! 1960<IMG title="" height=458 src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/couragekisses/courageteaser.jpg" width=457 border=1><br /><br />Our story today is <STRONG>Courage and Kisses.</STRONG> It comes from a 1960 copy of <EM>My Romantic Adventures. This is my only copy of My Romantic Adventures,</EM> but judging by the excellent stories in this issue it was apparently a fairly ambitious title: here is a <A href="http://www.samuelsdesign.com/comics/pages/goodgirl-romance/myrom_advs50.htm" target=_blank>sample cover</A> that shows how risky they were willing to be. Unfortunately, the writing has too much of the sexist sensibilities of the 1950's for my tastes. The humbling lesson our heroine Jean learns at the end of the story makes very little sense and ruins an otherwise inventive (and intentionally hilarious) story.<br /><span id="fullpost"><br /><IMG title="" height=1017 src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/couragekisses/courage1.jpg"><br />I know I'm supposed to sympathize with Jean's loneliness, but check out that <EM>awesome </EM>pony.<br /><br /><IMG title="" src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/couragekisses/courage2.jpg"><br />Jean's afraid of jumping and any locomotion above a brisk walk? Okaaay. You can't really blame the local hoodlums for not wanting to hang around with her, games of standing in one spot and taking even breaths never really caught on with kids.<br /><br /><IMG title="" height=1017 src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/couragekisses/courage3.jpg"><br />That's right, Jean. Bow to the peer pressure. <br /><br /><IMG title="" height=1017 src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/couragekisses/courage4.jpg"><br />Jean really can't win, now that she's an adrenaline junkie it makes the guys feel like sissies! C'mon, what's a girl to do? Apparently <EM>not </EM>shooting grizzly bears at point blank rage. Maybe staying home and ironing the pleats on her skirts or bedazzling a sweater or something.<br /><br />I kind of like the dweeb she ends up dating, he's got a really great hairdo going on. He sort of looks like a Dick Tracy felon, his name could be Moustache Head.<br /><br /><IMG title="" src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/couragekisses/courage5.jpg"><br />Things are looking promising for Jean, since at least Dan Baker has a full head of hair. Though Jean's acceptance of Dan begins with "I <EM>guess</EM>... you're the one for me!" and that doesn't sound very enthusiastic. Doesn't she really mean that he's the only guy besides Moustache Head who wasn't intimidated by her gator wrestling?<br /><br /><IMG title="" height=1017 src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/couragekisses/courage6.jpg"><br />Dan probably thought Jean was joking when she said she would've killed him if he hadn't proposed, but this is Jean we're talking about. He'll never know that if he'd claimed he wasn't ready to commit he would've been turned loose in the family's hedge maze with a dagger and a canteen while Jean gave him what the grizzly got on page four.<br /><br />Dan's water wings and his ability to drown in waist high water? So awesome.<br /><br /><IMG title="" height=1017 src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/couragekisses/courage7.jpg"><br />Even though Dan's phobias are hilarious, I kind of have to sympathize with Jean's decision to end the engagement. This is 1960 we're talking about, so it's not like she could just go find him a doctor to pump him full of anti-depressants or force him into some kind of phobia therapy where you get a box of caterpillars dumped on your head. She's going to have to put up with him losing his shit whenever a spider gets in the house or sees an episode of Lassie. He's probably one of those really fussy eaters, too, so she'll be cooking his steaks until they're gray and won't be allowed to use any spice other than celery salt.<br /><br /><IMG title="" height=1017 src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/couragekisses/courage8.jpg"><br />Do you see what happens when you act like a big pussy, Dan? Mountain goats <EM>die</EM>. <br />Even if his phobias weren't enough to turn Jean off, I think that Dan's checkered shirt would've ended the engagement.<br /><br /><br /><IMG title="" src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/couragekisses/courage9.jpg"><br />Okay so maybe they did have therapy in 1960, because Dan's definitely got Jean psychoanalyzed. She does all these stunts because she's a coward. So I guess panicking at twenty feet makes Dan <EM>extremely brave</EM>.<br /><br /><IMG title="" src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/couragekisses/courage10.jpg"><br />Jean's fainting now because she <EM>didn't</EM> faint as a child? That's kind of sketchy. So is the convenient way that she's dangling over the mountain ridge.<br /><br /><br /><IMG title="" src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/couragekisses/courage11.jpg"><br />Look, it's the autogyro! Is that what helicopters looked like back then, or did the artist just combine a helicopter and a cropduster? None of that matters, though, because look, in the sky! It's Fraidy Pants to the rescue, no matter how inexplicable that might be!<br /><br /><IMG title="" src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/couragekisses/courage12.jpg"><br />So it seems that Jean has learned her lesson. Despite all the canoe paddling, bronc busting and the slaughter of endangered species, it was she who was really the coward, while the man who was afraid of small dogs, caterpillars, elevators, devilled eggs, his own saliva, frilled toothpicks, the letter K and the volume knob on his radio is the real hero Whatever you say, 1960. I'm not buying it.<br /></span>Lori Furyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15060712056309935017noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-550655343721575656.post-26718624356098607912008-05-16T07:00:00.000-07:002008-05-16T07:00:04.918-07:00Strange Girl, 1973<IMG title="" height=310 src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/strangegirl/strange_teaser.jpg" border=1><br />Unlike many stories that use a bait and switch cover image to lure a reader in, <EM>Strange Girl</EM> is just as daring as this cover image implies. Everyone thinks our heroine Liz is a lesbian, even her own mother.<br /><span id="fullpost"><br /><IMG title="" src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/strangegirl/strangegirl1.jpg"><br />Let this be a lesson to all of the parents out there: general maintenance and yard work <EM>will</EM> turn your daughter into a lesbian. I know because one time when I was like 12, my parents let me rake some leaves to earn extra money and I spent the next six weeks having these <EM>feelings</EM> about Lynda Carter.<br /><br />The artist who worked on this story isn't credited, but he must've worked for MAD at some point, because his style is very familiar and I keep expecting the story to turn into a parody of a 70's movie. It kind of distracts me from the awesome lesbian content. <br /><br /><EM><IMG title="" src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/strangegirl/strangegirl2.jpg"><br /></EM>I know I'm supposed to hate the catty girl in the second panel who strongly implies that our heroine Liz is a lesbian, but I kind of have sympathy for her. There she is in her best pink shirt with matching pink go-go boots, and the red-haired dork she's walking with just wants to talk about putting the <EM>town lesbian</EM> in a dress. Talk about a burn!<br /><br /><EM><IMG title="" src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/strangegirl/strangegirl3.jpg"><br /></EM>Thanks for the Veruca Salt dress, MOTHER. Where's my Golden Ticket?<br /><br /><br /><IMG title="" height=994 src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/strangegirl/strangegirl4.jpg"><br />It's a good thing that Agnes' mother is distracted by the pain of wearing about 14 pounds of industrial-size curlers, or else she might've picked up on the subtle clues that Agnes' bedroom is about to become Makeout Central.<br /><br /><IMG title="" height=994 src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/strangegirl/strangegirl5.jpg"><br />Oh sure, let Agnes walk home alone, in the dark, with a crowd of lecherous basketball fans roaming the streets. <br /><br /><IMG title="" height=994 src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/strangegirl/strangegirl6.jpg"><br />What's Fred's bag, anyway? I mean, first he's standing on the court during a basketball game, and faking whiplash, and now it's 10 minutes later and he's asking personal questions and trying to hold hands. I think he has boundary issues.<br /><br /><IMG title="" height=994 src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/strangegirl/strangegirl7.jpg"><br />Smooth, Fred. Questioning a girl's sexuality is the perfect way to endear yourself to her. So is launching at her in the dark, come to think of it.<br /><br /><IMG title="" height=994 src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/strangegirl/strangegirl8.jpg"><br />There goes Fred and his boundary issues again, now he's in<EM> love</EM>. I'm starting to think he really did bump his head and that puffy red hair of his is masking the contusion. Check out Liz's mother's ecstatic reaction: LIZ IS THERE A BOY? LIZ I AM CALLING GRANDMA RIGHT NOW SO SHE CAN WRITE YOU BACK INTO HER WILL!<br /><br /><IMG title="" height=994 src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/strangegirl/strangegirl9.jpg"><br />Yeah yeah, don't we all wish for a boyfriend like Fred... to act as our unwitting beards. <br /><br />So that's Strange Girl, and even though our heroine isn't a lesbian (I think that'd be too much to ask for) it's a pretty racy story regardless. It's the only story I've ever read where a character's sexuality is questioned, and it gives me an insight into why, when I was growing up girls' sports teams were always referred to as the powderpuff teams. Even well into my highschool years the girls played Powderpuff Football or Powderpuff Basketball. It was just a way of forestalling the lesbian jokes! <br /><br /></span>Lori Furyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15060712056309935017noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-550655343721575656.post-8471711925744271102008-05-09T11:00:00.000-07:002008-05-09T12:16:55.264-07:00"I Dare Not Tell Him!" 1963<IMG title="GWAN, SCRAM!" height=258 alt="GWAN, SCRAM!" src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/darenot/teaser.jpg" width=312 border=1><br /><br />Today's story is from the May issue of Love Romances, a Marvel title that was published in May 1963. This is the first Marvel story I've scanned, and while Marvel can't compete with DC's quality, the art is decent and the stories are quite nice, with a naturalistic touch that you don't often find.<br /><br />Some of you will be interested to know that all of the stories in this particular issue were written by Stan Lee, but don't get your hopes up about any crossovers: our heroine doesn't find herself on a blind date with Bruce Banner or copying her lecture notes for Peter Parker. Instead, she finds herself married to a creep on the first page of the story, which is definitely the wrong way to get a romance started. <br /><span id="fullpost"><br /><IMG title="LOVE ROMANCES" src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/darenot/darenot_cover.jpg"><br /><br />I really like this cover, because the heroine looks completely spazzed out underneath that Jiffy Pop hairdo she's rocking.<br /><br /><IMG title="" src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/darenot/darenot1.jpg"><br />What a minx, getting married at the<EM> beginning</EM> of the story. We all know this isn't going to work out, right?<br /><br /><IMG title="" src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/darenot/darenot2.jpg"><br />I love Paul's rage, here he's just so pissed about those tickets. He'd probably have pistol whipped her if she overcooked his eggs or brought him the wrong slippers. The mother's comment that Bette was lucky to realize her mistake "in time", means while she was still a virgin. Girls who are damaged goods don't get to star in their own romance story, Bette! <br /><br /><IMG title="" src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/darenot/darenot3.jpg"><br />Jesus, ask a girl out on a date, Stu. Don't make her stay late typing up reports while you admire her hair dome. Is it just me, or is Bette's hair growing larger? It appears to be collapsing under its own weight.<br /><br /><IMG title="" src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/darenot/darenot4.jpg"><br />I've changed my mind, Bette is so guilty about the annulment that she must've stopped for a quickie with Paul before he figured out about those tickets. Also I can't believe Bette went out in the rain without an umbrella protecting her hair. Maybe she's fumbling in her pocket for a beehive-shaped rain bonnet.<br /><br /><IMG title="" src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/darenot/darenot5.jpg"><br />Come to the park and mug me, Stu! Be my skulking footpad! In the fourth and fifth panels the Marvel artists were a little overwrought, you can tell they weren't used to drawing for girls. Stu looks like he's about to start like shaking Bette until spare change falls out of her pockets.<br /><br /><IMG title="" src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/darenot/darenot6.jpg"><br />Oh shit, you were married for like 50 seconds, Bette. Stop being such a drama queen and kiss your boss! I think anything short of your boss whipping out his dick and insisting that you use it as a pen blotter wouldn't be considered sexual harassment in the 60's, and probably not even then. <br /><br />New story on Monday, and make sure to vote in the new poll.<br /></span>Lori Furyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15060712056309935017noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-550655343721575656.post-21183367756890899652008-05-07T13:00:00.000-07:002008-05-07T13:00:01.459-07:00For Love Alone (1969)<IMG title="Yeah, shut it." src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/forlovealone/teaser.jpg" border=1><br /><EM><FONT size=1>Well, I like boys who don't wear their Christmas ties in the summer.</FONT><br /></EM><br />Today's story is from the June-July 1969 issue DC's <EM>Heart Throbs</EM>. DC's romance comics were the best of the best in the post-code era, and I think you'll notice the change from Charlton's low budget wackiness right away. At DC, the plots make sense, the artwork is highly skilled, and the comic is actually <EM>competently printed</EM>: the wildly miscalibrated screens and mystery blotches that plague Charlton comics are absent here. <br /><br />Contrast this simple little story of an ordinary girl with a commonplace problem to the bizarre things that befall Cleo Manson in my last post. Here instead of being pursued by banditos, our heroine Roseanne is just too shy to find herself a boyfriend, and her married sister and brother-in-law try to help her by setting her up on a date.<br /><span id="fullpost"><br /><IMG title="Now, dear. Don't be that way or you'll be an old maid at 19." src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/forlovealone/fla1.jpg"><br />Judging by the squeaky clean dorkiness of the husband that Beth hooked for herself, I think Roseanne is justified in her fear of being set up by her and I suspect that her "shyness" is at least partially invented. God knows what kind of nerd is going to walk through that door.<br /><br /><br /><IMG title="Now, dear." src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/forlovealone/fla2.jpg"><br />I don't know the reason for it, but the guys in romance comics always look 15 years older than the girls, even when the characters are supposed to be the same age. I don't know if David is supposed to be older than Roseanne, or if he's just prematurely aged like all men in the 60's. Was it all the smoking and drinking and playing poker with oversized nudie cards? Maybe they sold frowning kits in the back of mens' magazines because it was impossible to get ahead with a smooth, unlined face.<br /><br /><IMG title="Now, dear." src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/forlovealone/fla3.jpg"><br />Wait, why was Roseanne going to the square dance in the first place if she didn't like to dance? Oh, I bet she was a <EM>blast</EM> to bring to dances, making everyone awkward as she skulked around the edges of the crowd. At least she's coming out of her shell now, as evidenced by that pink panel - monochromatic panels always signify hormones. Lots of hormones.<br /><br /><IMG title=MMmm alt=Mmm src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/forlovealone/fla4.jpg"><br />See? That green panel is <EM>sizzling.</EM> <br /><br /><IMG title="" src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/forlovealone/fla5.jpg"><br />This is the second time David's shown up with a kind of gold bar on his jacket pocket, is he wearing a name tag? Maybe it's the pin he wears as a member of the DIRTY GIGOLO SOCIETY.<br /><br /><IMG title="" src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/forlovealone/fla6.jpg"><br />David's getting more lined with each page, but Roseanne doesn't care, she greens his panel and how. <br /><br />The panel where Roseanne runs away weeping with her eyes closed is a DC story staple, along with the sexy monochromatic panels, sadder-but-wiser endings and dream sequences. <br /><br />Now that I have the blog settled I'm going to be posting on a Mon - Wed - Fri schedule, and we'll see how that goes. So, look for a new post and a new poll on Friday.<br /></span>Lori Furyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15060712056309935017noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-550655343721575656.post-81004633030606525662008-05-05T20:22:00.000-07:002008-05-05T20:29:28.688-07:00Kiss or Be Killed (1969)<IMG title=Muchacho! height=235 alt="Ai yi yi!" src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/Random/muchacho.jpg" width=492 border=2> <br />Charlton needed 10 pages to tell today's story, the ambitious <EM>Kiss or Be Killed.</EM> Set in the exotic land of May-hee-co, it seethes with the threat of violence and is populated with obnoxious Americans, leering banditos and perhaps worst of all ... <EM>geologists</EM>. <br /><span id="fullpost"><br /><IMG title="" height=1006 src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/kissorkill/kobk1.jpg" width=675><br /><br />Kiss or Be Killed is really trying to have a message. It takes pains to let the reader know that racism is bad, and daringly shows an American girl kissing a Mexican. Perhaps even more tellingly, the bigot that finds this innocent kiss offensive earns himself a beating and the heroine's disdain. The main problem is that the writer and artist apparently learned everything they needed to know about Mexico from watching Speedy Gonzales cartoons, and the unfortunate use of the surname MANSON doesn't help, either. <br /><br /><IMG src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/kissorkill/kobk2.jpg" border=0> <br />You know, I don't think I'd like to take a trip with Manson Bus Tours, no matter how nice the Yucatan might be. For one they don't seem to bother training their staff - does Cleo really think it's wise to open up the tour by admitting she's never been to Mexico before? She's just begging for a busload of mutiny. <br /><br /><br /><IMG src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/kissorkill/kobk3.jpg" border=0><br /><br />The message is clear: you can kiss a Mexican as long as there's no tongue. Plus it's wrong to be racist. However, if you happen to insult a Mexican, you better get the hell out of town. Because they will cut you.<br /><br /><IMG src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/kissorkill/kobk4.jpg" border=0><br />Can anything else go wrong on this tour? A guide who has never been to Mexico before, having to flee town before one of the paying customers is murdered, and now this creepy shack-dweller is telling them they narrowly avoided driving over a collapsed bridge. It's making the salmonella incident in Paraguay pale in comparison. <br /><br /><IMG src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/kissorkill/kobk5.jpg" border=0><br />Okay, it just got worse, they're stopping until morning, and the creepy drifter is now apparently leading the whole shebang. Does anyone have overnight garments? Is there a toilet on the bus? Why is Cleo leaving the bus to go walking with the creepy dude that just hijacked her bus? How is it that she's still alive?<br /><br /><IMG src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/kissorkill/kobk6.jpg" border=0><br />I have to disagree with the sentiments in Panel 2, because if any of this happened to me I'm pretty sure I wouldn't love telling about it later. Except maybe when I spoke to my lawyer roughly 30 seconds after I got home, to discuss litigation against Manson Bus Tours.<br /><br />As obnoxious as Mr Lutz is, at least he has the sense to be skeptical about the bearded stranger who comandeered the bus and made them stop in an area inhabited by coyotes. I'm not sure what's up with the Fatso remark, or what's going on in the last panel - did Freer just punch Lutz in the... armpit? Whatever happened, it looks like it hurt. Smaaaaaaakk is pretty serious.<br /><br /><br /><IMG src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/kissorkill/kobk7.jpg" border=0><br />Okay so creepy drifter has led them into an ambush. Hands up, who saw this coming?<br /><br /><IMG src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/kissorkill/kobk8.jpg" border=0><br /><br />So let's try to get this straight. It was necessary to stop the bus so that the banditos could see Lutz get his ass beaten and for creepy drifter to kiss Cleo so she doesn't get assaulted. Couldn't all of this be avoided by, I don't know, fuckin' flooring it out of Mexico? It's not like they were in a vehicle, dude.<br /><br />...and why is Cleo fantasizing about his tickly kisses and drifter breath?<br /><br /><IMG src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/kissorkill/kobk9.jpg" border=0><br /><br />"No Cleo... I'm respectable." Also kind of a dumbass who endangered your life to kiss you and expose Manson Bus Tours to what will be an inevitable lawsuit by Mr Lutz, but whatever.<br /><br /><IMG src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/kissorkill/kobk10.jpg" border=0><br /><br />I like how Larry secures his date with Cleo by letting her know that she has no choice in the matter. You better attend that fiesta, girl, or you don't even <em>want</em> to know how the locals will exact their revenge.<br /><br />This is the first story I've scanned from Charlton's Career Girl Romances, but since the stories are definitely a cut above Charlton's usual fare you'll be seeing more of them. <br /><br /></span>Lori Furyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15060712056309935017noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-550655343721575656.post-75840108187985258722008-04-14T09:12:00.000-07:002008-04-15T09:42:30.268-07:00Break-Up<img src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/breakup/breakup_teaser.jpg" border="1" alt="KA-pow!"><br />For your reading pleasure today we have Break-Up, with some of the best art I've ever seen in a Charlton comic. Break-Up first caught my attention because it has one of the most awkward, geeky heroes I've ever run across; he's like a cross between the first Ken doll and a Buddy Holly impersonator and even the heroine never forgets that he's a puny specimen.<br /><br />On closer reading, though, it's the heroine that really stands out. While girls in romance comics generally <em>do</em> like it when their new boyfriend beats up their ex (and really, what girl doesn't?) here our heroine gets just a <em>little</em> too excited by all the violence.<br /><span id="fullpost"><br /><img src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/breakup/breakup2.jpg" border="0"><br />Our heroine Ellen is fresh out of high school, but check out Steve's lined forehead. The guys in romance comics tend to look much older than the girls, but I think Steve was one of her teachers. Probably a sleazy phys. ed. teacher.<br /><br /><img src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/breakup/breakup3.jpg" border="0"><br />Oh, sure. When your boyfriend dumps you at the county line, you just walk home in the dark. All by yourself. THEN you get in the car with some creepy guy in glasses that you might vaguely remember from high school. ELLEN. GO TO YOUR ROOM RIGHT NOW YOUNG LADY.<br /><br /><img src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/breakup/breakup4.jpg" border="0"><br />In the second panel, Gary's basically admitting that he's only ever danced with other <em>dudes</em> in public. Thankfully, Ellen's too intent on having a good time to notice, as she goes from angry makeouts with one date to fevered grinning and crazed dancing with another in the span of about three minutes. Wait, and what's Steve doing here? That dude gets around.<br /><br /><img src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/breakup/breakup5.jpg" border="0"><br />The last panel shows Ellen <em>far</em> too excited about the punches being thrown.<br /><br /><img src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/breakup/breakup6.jpg" border="0"> Way to be tactful, Ellen. "Golly, Dweebo! I sure was surprised when you won that fight, because you're so icky! I thought for sure Steve was going to snap your pencil neck!"<br /><br /><img src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/breakup/breakup7.jpg" border="0"><br />Oh, come on, dreaming of Gary? Even in Ellen's <em>fantasy</em> he looks uncomfortable and awkward, and at best he looks 45 years old. A creepy, wizened 45.<br /><br /><img src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/breakup/breakup8.jpg" border="0"><br />Oh shit, it's Steve! Steve and his CHEST HAIR. <em>How</em> can such a proud specimen keep getting schooled? He's like three times the size of the other dudes on the beach. I love when Ellen screams for Gary to show Steve no mercy.<br /><br />Also, this comic proves that nerds have been embarassing their dates by referring to them as 'milady' for at least 40 years.<br /><br /><img src="http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b327/lorifury/romance/breakup/breakup9.jpg" border="0"><br />I don't want to be crude (okay, I do) but I think Steve's hurrying Ellen into the water to cover up what happens when he gets those "funny feelings" in his swim trunks.<br /><br />So that's the entire story, it's kind of skimpy on plot (phys ed teacher loses girl, girl finds nerd, nerd pwns phys ed teacher on beach) but I think a third of its panels portray fighting, and what else do we <em>really</em> need?<br /><br /><br /></span>Lori Furyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15060712056309935017noreply@blogger.com1